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• You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies
• Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro
• Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket
• Your company logo on your badge is applied with stick-um
• You order your business cards in "half orders" instead of whole boxes
• When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie
• You get really excited about a 2% pay raise
• You learn about your layoff on CNN
• Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes
• You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet
• Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined
• You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive
• It's dark when you drive to and from work
• Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else
• Communication is something your group is having problems with
• You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor
• Free food left over from meetings is your main staple
• Weekends are those days your significant other makes you stay home
• Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital
• Art involves a white board
• You're already late on the assignment you just got When 100% of your time means 20 hours, with 40 more hours on the other 100% of your time.
• You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say "Oh wow, thanks!"
• Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube and are read by your co-workers only
• Your boss's favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes" or "when you're freed up"
• Your boss' second favorite lines are "this isn't exactly what we need. It may be what we asked for, but things have changed."
• Vacation is something you rollover to next year, or you try to use up three weeks between Christmas and New Year's because otherwise you will lose it, or you get a check for it every January
• Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers"
• Change is the norm
• Nepotism is encouraged
• The only reason you recognize your kids and friends is because their pictures are hanging in your cube
• You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting
• You read this entire list and understood it