012 - The Real Reason Dogs Don't Use Computers
Reasons
Dogs Don't Use Computers
20)
Can't stick their heads out of Windows '98.
19) Fetch command not available on all platforms.
18) Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.
17) Too difficult to "mark" every web site they visit.
16) Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail."
15) Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.
14) Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing x-rated
site instead of working.
13) Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee.
12) Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.
11) Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies tail-wagging.
10) Oh, but they WILL... with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable
Thumb.
9) Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome
8) 'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand...
7) Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.
6) SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.
5) SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question!
4) Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver.
3) Annoyed by lack of news group, alt.pictures.master's.leg.
2) Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.
1) TrO{gO DsA[M,bN HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,.