023 - Mars Air Force Denies Stories of UFO Crash Mars
Air Force Denis Rumors of UFO Crash The
story broke late Friday night when a major stationed at nearby Ares Vallis
Air Force Base contacted the Valles Marineris Daily Record with a story about
a strange, balloon-shaped object which allegedly came down in the nearby desert,
"bouncing" several times before coming to a stop, "deflating in a sudden explosion
of alien gases". Minutes later, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser contacted
the Daily Record telepathically to contradict the earlier report.
General
Rgrmrmy The Lesser stated that hysterical stories of a detachable vehicle
roaming across the Martian desert were blatant fiction, provoked by incidences
involving swamp gas. But the general public has been slow to accept
the Air Force's explanation of recent events, preferring to speculate on the
"other-worldly" nature of the crash debris. Conspiracy theorists have
condemned Rgrmrmy's statements as evidence of "an obvious government cover-up",
pointing out that Mars has no swamps.
I swear
this is true.
Valles Marineris (MPI) - A spokesthing for Mars Air Force denounced as
false rumors that an alien space craft crashed in the desert, outside of Ares
Valli on Friday. Appearing at a press conference today, General
Rgrmrmy The Lesser, stated that "the object was, in fact, a harmless high-altitude
weather balloon, not an alien spacecraft".
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