YOU MAY BE AN ENGINEER...  

• If you introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife"  
• If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner  
• If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie  
• If you want an 8X CD-ROM for Christmas  
• If Dilbert is your hero  
• If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE  
• If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes  
• If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail  
• If your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50  
• If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place  
• If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys  
• If you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car  
• If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts  
• If, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string  
• If you window shop at Radio Shack  
• If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies  
• If you have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area  
• If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run  
• If you are convinced you can build a phaser out of your garage door opener and your camera's flash attachment  
• If you don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is  
• If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven  
• If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush  
• If you own "Official Star Trek" anything  
• If you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside  
• If a team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception  
• If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project  
• If you are currently gathering the components to build your own nuclear reactor  
• If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts  
• If you have never backed-up your hard drive  
• If you are aware that computers are actually only good for playing games, but are afraid to say it out loud  
• If you truly believe aliens are living among us  
• If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance  
• If you have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is"  
• If you see a good design and still have to change it  
• If the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions  
• If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it  
• If the thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters your mind  
• If you own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don't remember where they are  
• If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires  
• If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal  
• If you have more toys than your kids  
• If you need a checklist to turn on the TV  
• If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name  
• If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work  
• If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight  
• If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush up to the front to fix it  
• If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary  
• If you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel and have seen most of the shows already  
• If you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for  
• If your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you grew up thinking that was normal  
• If you know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what size screw driver to use  
• If you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting  
• If people groan at the party when you pick out the music  
• If you can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week  
• If you did the sound system for your senior prom  
• If your checkbook always balances  
• If your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone  
• If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life  
• If you thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission controllers  
• If you think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep  
• If you spend more on your home computer than your car  
• If you know what http:/ stands for  
• If you've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio  
• If you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your garage  
• If your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory  
• If your lap-top computer costs more than your car  
• If your 4 basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4. Chocolate